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last night on late night
May 23, 2019

President Trump said Wednesday he won't work with Democrats on infrastructure or anything else until they end their investigations of him. "You're on the Senate Intelligence Committee," Stephen Colbert reminded Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) on Wednesday's Late Show. "Are you guys going to end the investigation?" "No," she said. "Let's just talk for a moment about this."

So Trump's "going to hold America's infrastructure hostage over the issue of the investigation," Harris said, connecting some dots. Almost half of American families are about $400 of unexpected expenses away from "complete upheaval," she said. The average set of tires for a car costs $400, she added, and "why do people need new tires? Because the roads are falling apart." Colbert played the devil's advocate, suggesting Democrats "just pause the investigations and get the infrastructure done — he'll still be corrupt later." Harris laughed but said, "No, this is a false choice. We cannot abandon our democracy for the sake of appeasing somebody who is completely focused on his self-interest only."

Harris said it's her "firm belief" that Trump obstructed justice, but impeachment is tricky. She's in favor of starting an impeachment investigation, she said, but "it is also fair that we are realistic that the Senate is not going to impeach this guy." The investigation is still worth pursuing, Harris added. "It's about maintaining the integrity of our democracy and the design of it," three co-equal branches of government with checks and balances. But when the Senate fails to convict, she said, Democrats must be ready to watch Trump "prance around and say, 'See? Witch hunt, witch hunt. They went after me and they didn't get me.'" "I've never imagined him prancing before," Colbert said, "but thank you for that image."

Harris also explained how her equal-pay plan shifts the burden of assuring men and women earn the same money for the same work from individuals to the companies. Watch below. Peter Weber

May 21, 2019

The Game of Thrones series finale drew a record number of viewers to HBO on Sunday night, and not all of them left satisfied. On Monday night, the late-night shows bade farewell to the cultishly beloved drama in their own unique ways, some more elaborate than others. There are few, if any, spoilers.

At Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel showed a sneak peek of one of the secretive Game of Thrones spinoffs HBO is promising, this one starring Bob Saget and Dave Coulier in their Full House roles, with a twist.

The Late Show's Stephen Colbert imagined what other TV shows HBO might stick dragons in, and laid out the story arc of that errant plastic water bottle.

Colbert's Late Show started off with a little fan fiction about Jaime Lannister.

On Conan, a super fan dressed as a Game of Thrones character complained that the current season of Wahlburgers was terrible, and he made Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter act out a very GoT-y scene of his own fan fiction.

Trevor Noah noted at The Daily Show that some fans are taking the finale so hard, a website is "offering therapy sessions for people upset about the ending of Game of Thrones. And let me just say, people, if you need therapy because a TV show ended, your life is too good, okay? I'm just going to tell you straight, you don't need a therapist, you need some credit card debt and an STD."

"Watching Game of Thrones is kind of like running a marathon," James Corden mused at The Late Late Show. "Even if you chose not to take part, you're still forced to listen to people at work talk about it forever." He joked that sadly, millions or people are discovering their friendship was based only on a shared HBO password, and "now if you want to watch dozens of odd characters scheme for power, you'll need to start following the 2020 Democratic race." Peter Weber

May 15, 2019

Jimmy Fallon cracked some jokes about the weather, Game of Thrones, and President Trump's trade war on Tuesday's Tonight Show, and then he turned to some entertainment news, featuring Trump's favorite Fox Business pundit. "Detective Pikachu is now in theaters, and on his show last night, Lou Dobbs decided to mention the movie — but he had a little trouble with the name 'Pikachu,'" Fallon said, playing the clip and laughing. "Everyone in the studio was like, 'Bless you.' Also in theaters, Avengers: End-gah-may." Still, he said, his Pikachu pronunciation was "not as bad as our favorite Lou Dobbs clip, when he tried to say the name of a Mexican town." You can watch (or rewatch) that timeless gem below. Peter Weber

May 10, 2019

On CNN Thursday morning, John Berman and Alisyn Camerota marveled at how similar President Trump's rally in Florida on Wednesday was to Sunday night's episode of Veep, filmed months earlier. They weren't the first ones to note eerie similarities between Trump's time as candidate and president and the fictional Selina Meyer's reign of error — in fact, Veep writers have struggled to separate Trump fact from their satire. Stephen Colbert took that synchronicity and ran with it — into another dimension — with help with the Veep cast.

"The things that you're doing on this Earth are then happening in my world, over and over again!" Colbert warned Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Meyer on Thursday's Late Show, after walking through some sort of space-time portal. If you're not in the parallel-dimensions sci-fi aspect of the skit, the brutal Veep-style mockery of Colbert might be worth your 3 minutes. Peter Weber

May 10, 2019

As far as Jimmy Kimmel is concerned, the best way to celebrate Mother's Day is by having celebrities embarrass their moms on national television.

On Thursday night, Kimmel asked Katy Perry, Pink, Josh Groban, Billie Eilish, and other stars to read texts their moms had sent them, with some funny, others bizarre, and quite a few having to do with drugs. Groban's mom admitted she can't tell the difference between a shamrock and a marijuana leaf, while Pink's mother, a self-described "stoner mom," talked about dosing and vaping.

Eilish's mom admonished her one night to "go the duck to sleep!" but the weirdest text goes to Perry's mother, who shared relationship advice. Women need to let men take the lead, she said, as "the man is the head but the woman is the neck that turns the head, you just have to do it where he doesn't think you're doing it, kind of like turning a sail on a sailboat in the wind, subtle but it'll start to glide." Listen to the whole rambling text, plus Rob Delaney's mom's profane adventures with autocorrect, below. Catherine Garcia

May 7, 2019

In Sunday night's Game of Thrones, a Starbucks cup was visible in front of Daenerys Targaryen in one scene, and HBO tried to make a joke of the apparent anachronism. As if the Mother of Dragons would drink herbal tea.

Stephen Colbert's Late Show opened Monday's show with a more believable sendup of the gaffe, imagining a barista in the Winterfell Starbucks getting a dark roast for mispronouncing a name.

At The Daily Show, Trevor Noah poked fun at Game of Thrones viewers upset by the mistake, mostly. "Last week, people complained that the episode was so dark, they couldn't see anything," he said. "This week, people are complaining that they saw too much." Noah was tickled by the idea of a Winterfell Starbucks, though: "Forget the White Walkers — the white gentrifiers are coming. Next thing you know, a one-bedroom in Winterfell is like three grand. Sh-t, that's probably why there's only like three black people in the whole show — we all got priced out."

"No, I'm going to be honest, I love this so much," Noah said. "I just feel bad for the intern who screwed up, because knowing Game of Thrones, that intern is definitely getting his head chopped off — that's how it goes. Also, why do we assume this was a mistake? Why are people angry? 'They don't have Starbucks in Westeros!' Oh, you're telling me you can believe in a world where dragons are real but a to-go cup is too crazy for you?" Watch other anachronistic Game of Thrones product placements, plus jokes about Britain's new royal baby, black beauty queens, and the Kentucky Derby mess, below. Peter Weber

May 3, 2019

Chris Cuomo began his appearance on Thursday's Late Show by lifting Stephen Colbert and then explaining his CNN catchphrase: "Get after it." It's his life philosophy, Cuomo said, and a recognition that this is not a time to passively interview officials. Colbert asked him if he expects to persuade people to change their point of view, given America's remarkably fixed opinions on Special Counsel Robert Mueller, Russian election interference, and everything else to do with President Trump, not to mention Trump's own poll numbers.

Cuomo said he doesn't care what his viewers think, so long as they think, and then he laid out his theory on Trump's historically narrow polling range: "The intractability of the numbers where the president is involved I don't think is about the American people. I think it's about the expectations ... over time, the erosion of what people expect from public servants."

Cuomo explained that his father was New York's governor and his brother has that job now. "So I see that people in public service see the beauty in it," he said. "But we don't feel that anymore. I think that's why people forgive so much in this president. They don't expect better. ... That's why I think the numbers don't move. They can't be shocked, there is no sense of shame about what happens in public service. But we also don't reward virtue anymore. We have two parties that win by attacking the other, and that's a problem."

"Why didn't you go into the family business?" Colbert asked. "Well, the main reason is because I don't like it," Cuomo said. He added that he wished his brother, Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D), would quit politics, enjoy his life, "and not worry about people like me, and these jackals that chase around politicians." They ended with a pushup contest. Watch below. Peter Weber

May 1, 2019

For those who missed Attorney General William Barr's testimony in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee on Wednesday, Seth Meyers gave a quick rundown, focusing on Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) and his inability to ask any hard questions during the hearing he chaired.

After two years of waiting, the public got its first taste of Special Counsel Robert Mueller's report in late March, in the form of a four-page memo written by Barr, giving his summary of the 448-page document. This was excellent PR for President Trump, Meyers said on Wednesday's Late Night, because it shaped media coverage and let Trump crow over and over again that he was exonerated.

Barr left out important parts of the report, like the fact that it described 10 times Trump may have obstructed justice. He also never mentioned during a congressional hearing, despite being asked by Rep. Charlie Crist (D-Fla.), that Mueller had issues with his memo, as described in a letter Mueller sent to the Justice Department in late March. "There's no way you just forgot about a letter from Robert Mueller," Meyers said. "That's like forgetting about a note on your windshield that says, 'I know what you did last summer.'"

Graham had a poor showing throughout the hearing, Meyers said. He didn't ask any tough questions, spent much of his time harping on Hillary Clinton, bragged about not even reading the entire Mueller report, and argued that Trump only attempted to obstruct justice, and that's okay. "I'm no lawyer, but last time I checked, attempting to do something illegal is also a crime," Meyers said. "If you get arrested for chasing a guy down the street with a knife, you can't go to court and say, 'Sure, I tried to kill him, but he was too fast!'" Watch the video — which includes a clip of Graham in 1999 completely contradicting the Graham of today — below. Catherine Garcia

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