Stephen Colbert rips Trump for gratuitously wrapping himself in 9/11 first responder glory

Advocates of ensuring lifetime heath care for the first responders on Sept. 11, 2001, have been working for years to get Congress to fund the benefit. "It was a no-brainer, and eventually they got Congress to wrap their no-brains around it," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. "Today, Donald Trump held a ceremony in the Rose Garden to sign the bill — it was a good thing done by a terrible person, like when Vlad the Impaler would give each of his victims a Starbucks gift card."

"Like he has in other recent speeches, Trump had a hard time making the word sounds," Colbert said, but when he got his pronunciation under control, "Trump told the first responders he didn't only stand with them now, he also stood with them then." Literally. "Trump can't help but insert himself into everything," he said, breaking out his Trump impersonation: "I just watched Endgame, great movie, the Iron Man and the fat Thor, and I was there, too. I don't consider myself an Avenger, because I was rooting for Thanos — he had some good ideas."

"To stand there, to claim that while you're not a first responder, you were down there with them after 9/11, has got to be the worst thing I've ever heard — if he hadn't already said this," Colbert said, playing a clip from 2016 and resuming his Trump voice: "Yes, I helped out a little bit on 7/11. Of course, that was in July so things were fine. So, so glad I wasn't there on 9/11, I hear it was not good." Watch below. Peter Weber

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