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March 13, 2019

On Tuesday's Late Show, Stephen Colbert said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's (D-Calif.) "he's just not worth it" response to impeaching President Trump is "clearly reverse psychology," made fun of Pelosi's Lent-thwarting chocolate addiction, and noted the disconnect between Trump's promise to "protect Medicare" and his proposal to slash its budget by $818 billion. "Yes, we will protect Medicare from those greedy old people," he said in Trump voice.

"Trump also weighed in on the Ethiopian Airlines crash," but not to console the families of the 157 people who died, Colbert said. Instead, he "railed against the Boeing 737 MAX 8" in a tweet about how "often older and simpler is far better" when it comes to aircraft and other products. "He should know," Colbert said. "We've never had a president older or simpler."

The Late Show also visualized Trump's aviation advice.

"Yeah, what happened to the old days when plans had propellers and you could smoke on 'em, and when you wanted peanuts, you just give the stewardess a little smack on the ass and she'd get it for you?" Jimmy Kimmel deadpanned on Kimmel Live. "I say let's go back to the days of FAX machines and tuberculosis!" Kimmel also wished Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) a happy 72nd birthday and showed the video his staff took of the Twinkie cake. "I think we learned more about Mitt Romney from this video than we did during the entire campaign in 2012," he said, observing that Romney blows out candles "like an alien to our planet."

It's "fitting" that Twinkies are Romney's favorite snack, Colbert said. "Just like Twinkies, Mitt Romney doesn't age and he's even whiter on the inside. But the weird part is Romney blew out the candles by picking them up and blowing them out individually. ... Everything he does is like an alien googled 'How to do a normal.'" Colbert ran through some other short-and-sweet stories, but watch to the end for a brutal Tucker Carlson joke. Peter Weber

8:52 p.m.

In recent weeks, a record number of African migrants have been crossing the U.S.-Mexico border, fleeing from political persecution and economic hardship.

During one week, Border Patrol agents in Texas' Del Rio sector stopped more than 500 African migrants; only 211 African migrants were detained along the entire southern border during the 2018 fiscal year, The Associated Press reports. Most of the migrants are from the Republic of the Congo, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Angola, and Cameroon. They fly to South America from Africa, then travel by land to the U.S.-Mexico border, with many seeking asylum at ports of entry.

Migrants from Cameroon have said they fly to Ecuador because there is no visa requirement, and it takes about four months to get from there to Tijuana. While in Panama, they are often robbed, AP reports, and held in camps run by the government.

Over the last several days, 170 asylum seekers were bused to Portland, Maine, where Somali refugees were resettled in the 1990s. Hundreds more are expected to arrive in the near future. Catherine Garcia

1:30 p.m.

Washington is bearing witness to, perhaps, the unlikeliest dynamic duo in recent memory.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) are certainly not of the same political ilk, but they've recently gone back and forth over social media, with each expressing a willingness to work with the other to get certain bills passed.

The two politicians are of the same opinion when it comes to banning former lawmakers from becoming lobbyists after their tenures are up, as well as the idea that birth control should be available over-the-counter. They're now trying to team up to pass legislation on both matters.

But, if you thought this was just some political ploy or feigned bipartisanship in a tumultuous era, think again. In an appearance on ABC's This Week, Ocasio-Cortez said she was "extraordinarily excited" to work with Cruz on these issues, admitting that it's a surprise to her, as well. Tim O'Donnell

1:02 p.m.

Tensions between Tehran and Washington continue to rise, especially after the latter accused the former of attacking two oil tankers with limpet mines in the Gulf of Oman last week. U.S. Central Command released a video last week claiming it shows Iranians removing a mine from one of the tankers. Iran has vehemently denied the allegations and the owner of the Japanese tanker disputed the account.

But the video is still enough evidence for some people. Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) on Sunday, in an appearance on CBS' Face the Nation, told host Margaret Brennan that these "unprovoked attacks" warrant a "retaliatory military strike."

Even if Iran is behind the attacks, though, some have pointed out that a U.S. strike would make for a puzzling response, considering neither of the tankers were U.S. ships, instead hailing from Japan and Norway.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), on the other hand, told CNN's Fareed Zakaria on Saturday that the American people have "no appetite" for going to war with Iran. Tim O'Donnell

12:30 p.m.

Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman was the subject of a wide-ranging interview published in the pan-Arab newspaper Asharq Al-Awsat, touching upon tensions with Iran, Saudi Arabia's economic future, and the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi. Here are three key moments.

Blame game — The crown prince joined the U.S. in blaming Iran for recent attacks against oil tankers in the Gulf of Oman, which Tehran has vehemently denied. He also said that, while Riyadh does not seek war with Iran, he will not hesitate to "deal with any threat" to Saudi Arabia's sovereignty.

Veiled attack — Prince Mohammed also warned against "exploiting" the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi for political gains in what Al Jazeera writes was likely a veiled attack against Turkey, where Khashoggi was killed (those accused of the crime are Saudi government officials). However, the crown prince added that he wants to maintain strong relations with Ankara.

Aramco is good to go — The prince said that Aramco, Saudi Arabia's national petroleum and gas company, is set to go through with an initial public offering as soon as next year, though it remains unclear where the stock will trade. The prince projected the companies' value at about $2 trillion. The decision is reportedly part of Saudi Arabia's plan to diversify its economy and boost employment in new industries. Tim O'Donnell

11:47 a.m.

A massive blackout swept through all of Argentina and Uruguay on Sunday morning after an unexplained electrical failure in the Argentina network knocked out the interconnected system. Parts of Paraguay were also affected, BBC reports, while Al Jazeera writes that the outage also reportedly extends to parts of Brazil and Chile.

Argentine media reports that the country's trains have been halted. "Never has anything like this happened before," Alejandra Martinez, a spokesperson for electricity company Edesur Argentina, said.

Edesur said power has been restored to 75,000 clients in parts of Buenos Aires and that two of the capital's airports were operating on generators. Argentina's energy secretary, Gustavo Lopetegui, also said power was being restored in some parts of the country but that the process could take several hours.

The outage occurred as people in several parts of Argentina were making their way to voting polls for local elections.

The combined population of Argentina and Uruguay is about 48 million people. Tim O'Donnell

11:03 a.m.

Boeing is reportedly attempting to cut hours off airborne testing for its new 777X airplane by using computer models to simulate flight conditions before presenting the results to the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration for certification, two people with direct knowledge of the strategy told Reuters, who was not able to confirm when Boeing decided to move forward with the plan.

The move would reportedly slash high development costs associated with physical safety testing, but it remains to be seen whether the FAA would allow the company to eliminate some of the physical tests. Boeing is currently the subject of probes by regulators and U.S. lawmakers after two of its 737 Max airplanes crashed in Ethiopia and Indonesia after a stall prevention software failure. The investigations could potentially throw Boeing's reported plans into jeopardy if they result in even more rigorous safety requirements, Reuters reports.

Five people familiar with the matter told Reuters that Boeing believes new technology and decades of testing experience have rendered some physical tests redundant for demonstrating safety. Read more at Reuters. Tim O'Donnell

8:35 a.m.

President Trump is angry at The New York Times once again.

The newspaper reported on Saturday that the U.S. has enacted a more aggressive approach when it comes to cyber attacks on Russia's electric power grid. The Times conducted interviews over a three month period in which current and former officials described the previously unreported deployment of American computer code inside Russia's grid and other targets. The actions are reportedly seen as a warning to Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Two administration officials told the Times that they do not believe President Trump has been briefed about the new digital incursion strategy, while Pentagon and intelligence officials told the newspaper that they were concerned about how the president would react to the news. They also reportedly feared he would reverse the operations or discuss the classified information with foreign officials.

Trump has denied the story, even calling it a "virtual act of treason." Read more at The New York Times. Tim O'Donnell

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