Stephen Colbert is already bored by the Nunes memo, but he's intrigued by Hope Hicks

"The hottest news item in America is about a three-and-a-half-page memo no one has read — yet," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. The memo purports to show that the FBI used misleading information in a FISA application to surveil a campaign adviser for President Trump. "Ugh, that sounds a little dry," Colbert said. "Can't another porn star come forward about spanking the president? I mean, it's been over a week!"

Friends of Trump say the president sees the memo as a way to discredit Special Counsel Robert Mueller's Russia investigation. "Yes, it's like when you're losing at basketball, so you shoot the ref," he said, slipping into Trump voice. "I guess I win — there's nobody to tell me I didn't. Now, who wants to be the new referee?"

The memo was written for Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.), Colbert said, and "there's suspicion that Trump's White House helped Nunes write this memo. Because remember, Nunes' last supposedly shocking memo was written by the White House that they gave to him to give back to them." Trump's ultimate target with the memo appears to be Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, the only one who can fire Mueller. Some people in the White House are concerned the memo is a "dud" that will disappoint Trump's base, Colbert noted. "But, Mr. President, even if the memo doesn't prove that the FBI's out to get you, look on the bright side: After you release it, I think they might be."

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Mueller, meanwhile, is zeroing in on an apparent cover-up involving Donald Trump Jr.'s email exchanges with Russians offering dirt on Hillary Clinton. The new person of Mueller's interest is Hope Hicks, who reportedly assured Trump that his son's inculpatory emails "will never get out" — until Don Jr. tweeted them out. "So, good luck, Ms. Hicks," Colbert said. "These are the Trumps you work for, and you are literally the only Hope they have." Peter Weber

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