Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Vanity, after a California legislator introduced a bill that would let applicants for driver’s licenses take as many photos as they want until they get one they like. The fee charged for each additional photo would fund high school driver’s-ed programs for teenagers.
Downsizing, with the news that the military parade through Washington, D.C., that President Trump has ordered later this year will not include any tanks. “Consideration must be given to minimize damage to local infrastructure,” Pentagon officials said.
Jane Doe, who has won her legal battle to remain anonymous, after winning $560 million in New Hampshire’s state lottery. Doe’s lawyers successfully argued that lottery winners have “historically been victimized by the unscrupulous.”
Bad week for:
Quiet time, after three day care workers from Illinois were charged with giving 2-year-olds melatonin-laced gummies to ensure they’d take a nap. Giving a sleep-inducing hormone to kids without parental consent, police said, was “just a horrible case of bad judgment.”
Lower Michigan, which has the highest chance of being hit by China’s Tiangong-1 satellite when it crashes to Earth in April. But the probability that any specific person will be struck, said experts, is far “smaller than the odds of winning the Powerball jackpot.”
The mysteries of love, after the Edinburgh Zoo suspended its panda-breeding program due to the pandas’ lack of interest. Zoo officials said they would stop encouraging pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang to mate until officials consult “the latest thinking” on “the incredibly complex and unpredictable breeding process.”